I stumbled across these jokes tonight on Facebook. I’m not sure where they came from (I’ll try and look later), but I think they’re pretty funny.

Joke #1 – A mathematician, an engineer, and a biologist are sitting at a cafe enjoying coffee and watching people enter and exit a building across the street. They first see two person enter the house, and then a few minutes later three people leave. The biologist says: “Ah, they have reproduced.” The engineer replies: “No, no, the initial measurement was inaccurate.” As the two begin to bicker, the mathematician chimes in: “If now exactly one person enters the house, then it will be empty again.”

Joke #2 – A physicist, a chemist, and a mathematician are all attending a conference, and staying at the same hotel. The first night, the chemist wakes up to the smell of smoke. Looking out into the hallway, he sees a fire. Realizing that he can stop the fire by lowering the temperature of the reagents with water, he quickly returns to his room, grabs the trash can in the bathroom, fills it with water, uses it to douse the flames, then returns to bed. The next night, the physicist wakes up to the smell of smoke. Peering into the hallway, he sees a fire. Looking down the hallway in the other direction, he sees a fire hose. He quickly calculates the proper angle to hold the hose in order for the water stream to travel exactly to the flames and douse them. After dousing the flames, the physicist returns to bed. On the third night, the mathematician wakes to the smell of smoke. Looking into the hallway, he sees a fire. Like the physicist, he also spots the fire hose. After thinking for a very long time, the mathematician proclaims triumphantly: “Ah! A solution exists!” and goes back to bed.

Joke #3 – An arts major, an engineer, and a mathematician are trying to use a length of wire fencing to secure as much space as possible for sheep to graze inside. The arts major says “Aha!” and cordons off a square shape. The engineer shakes his head and instead uses the wire to cordon off a circular shape, explaining that it encloses more area. The mathematician shakes his head, and instead forms a tiny circle around himself. “I define myself to be on the outside.”

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